End of treatment - a milestone with a difference

I wanted to feel something

Today I went for run in the rain. I’m not really a runner and usually steer well clear of rain but today I made a conscious decision to throw myself into the elements. Why? I wanted to feel something. As Felix nears the end of treatment, a sense of excitement is building all around us. This is the thing, it is around us not really within us. We are literally days away now from that date, 26th April 2019, but we have no idea what this means. It’s not something that is usually marked. In a child’s milestones, there is the end of the dummy or the potty or nappies at night. The end of stabilisers, bedtimes stories or primary school. It’s what kids do; it’s what we recognise, celebrate and pop in the memory box knowing that the future will hold greater and more exciting times. Finishing treatment for cancer does not usually feature at the end of term achievements, first date conversations or the best man’s speech but this is the biggest milestone of my son’s life. It is the biggest milestone in our family history so far. The enormity of it makes me feel numb.

It’s just another phase in this strange old process

The next few weeks/months will certainly be a period of adjustment that none of us can foresee or really prepare for. We will continue to carry on as before with as much humour and self-deprecation as we can muster but if we are over-excited/withdrawn/hysterical/angry please bear with us – it’s just another phase in this strange old process. And if you see me doing anything weird or extraordinary – give it a nod, you will know why!   This blog was originally published on Kerry’s blog on 10 April 2019. If you’d like to share your story, email stories@childrenwithcancer.org.uk